This is my Moriarty. And for you literature people out there, The Final Problem.
You see, there’s this ancient and powerful artifact crafted by strange and powerful gods, it holds its user in its thrall, forcing them to succumb to its will, releasing its captives only when they complete their quest.
Naturally, when it comes to Xbox 360 games I’m an achievements whore. This means in order to get all the achievements I must follow orders. I must defeat the final boss: The Endless Setlist.
I have to do this on Expert. Because everyone knows (even you!) that games don’t begin until you play them on Expert. Problem is, gathering your party members together for the task.
First, you have non-traditional party members: you have a drummer, a bass player, a guitarist and a vocalist. The only spell you get is “Overdrive”, giving your whole party a boost to their attacks against the song. The great thing about collecting enough MP/Mana to use this spell is that it also doubles as a resurrection spell in case someone dies. It’s very useful, but with an absence of other spells and with limited weapons you have to be skilled enough to beat the boss with actual skill.
This is where Livingston and Pizza bribes come in.
“That’s a pretty sweet quest reward,” you might say. And it’s true! But the problem is, you also unlock extra achievements if you pull this shit off without pausing the game, disconnecting any controllers, or dying. So no peeing. Unless you’re really quick, or disgusting. And I have a rule in my house: no peeing outside of the designated potty. For fuck’s sake, ew.
Adding males to your party might make this easier, as Rock Band 1 suggests “When you’re in a rock band keep an empty bottle in the van. You’ll see.” Males do have the drawback of smelling pretty ripe after about 2-4 hours of Expert play.
I think the key here is adding the “Hey bitches, it’s my birthday tomorrow. You OWE me.” factor. Wait to see if it works! Wish me luck, unless you’re on my hitlist of friends who can play on Expert. Because then you should avoid drinking anything until Thursday.
I sure wish Dr. House knew how to play Rock Band.