Well, my birthday wish did not come true: My Rock Band achievements have not been accomplished–YET!

The main hangup is even though the universe has sought to bless me with at LEAST four players who are Expert level Rock Band Drummers, not ONE of them can beat Dream Theater’s Panic Attack. I made a checklist of why this is bullshit.

  • Three out of Four of these fuckers owns the Ion drumset. You don’t pay $300 for a set of plastic drums for a pretend band in a videogame if you do not KICK ASS, ie: have the ability to beat every song on expert. It is just not done.
  • Everyone was whining about how hard Foo Fighters’ Everlong was, and then bragged all over the place about how now that they could beat Everlong they were complete as Expert pretend drummers. Apparently not!
  • My friends who are real life actual drum players don’t play videogames. This could be because they’re practicing their music, but whatever. They’re not going to be able to beat Panic Attack either.

I also seem to only know three players who can play expert Guitar or Bass on every song. Which is fine, because I know about a half dozen more who can play Hard consistently and Expert on the easier songs. Since a lot of these people (like real guitar players in real life) are multi-classers they can take the load off of my High-level Drummers/Strings by helping out on easier songs. This increases my chances of success.

Coordinating all these people is going to be a challenge since for some reason many of them seem to have real jobs or something. Grabbing the six-eight people I want for true Platinum success as a real achievement is asking a lot when you need a minimum of 6 hours and 15 minutes to beat this setlist.

I still believe I can make it so. I’ll keep the updates on here. Once I get this achievement you will see some Cake-Pie fly. Which is a lot more awesome than pigs. No matter how many pigs you use.

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7 Responses to “Panic in the Rock Band”

  1. kaitlyn Says:

    Well that sucks that you can’t find anyone to help out with beating that. I would help but I suck at rock band and you’re one of the only ones besides “J-man” and my mom who can play on expert. Well I hope you achieve your goal, just remember to keep your hopes up!


  2. J-Man Says:

    First off, the ION drum set is more METAL than it is plastic. Second, I can use it for Drummania and fruityloops! Although not as well as I could if I ipaid another $150 for a drum modual.

    Dude, that prog-rock bullshit isn’t real drumming anyway. Also, I am sorry that I have trouble playing songs written by “the best and most technically proficient drummer of all time.” That dude changes timing ever 3-7 notes, besides, I heard that motherfucker had like 30 goddamn dicks.

    Even though it’s against all I stand for as a gamer, I will (dun dun dun) practice that song so I can beat it. You know I like just being good at things and not having to try. Like Everlong, I was hoping to just ignore the song long enough that it was easy to beat. So, I should be able to beat it sometime tonight.

    P.S. You can kiss all those wins I “give” you in SC4 goodbye after this.


  3. J-Man Says:

    Woops, I wrote “modual instead of module,” among other things… But that’s ok, I noticed some typos in your posts too!


  4. Cake-Pie Says:

    Bitch I pwned you in SC4.


  5. J-Man Says:

    Oh come on, I was only going easy on you because umm, how did he put it, “have you ever played a fighting game before in your life?” Astaroth/Cervantes > Xianghua. Grab spamming my Nicemare playstyle doesn’t count as winning. Next time I’ll just flapjack your ass out of Poisonville.


  6. Kent Says:

    Please, can you PM me and tell me few more thinks about this, I am really fan of your blog…gets solved properly asap.


  7. Hunter Jones Says:

    Hi, possibly i’m being a little off topic here, but I was browsing your site and it looks attractive. I’m building a blog and trying to make it look clean, but everytime I touch it I mess something up. Did you design the blog yourself? Could someone with little experience do it, and add updates without messing it up? Anyways, good information on here, very useful.


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Posted by Cake-Pie
Dated: 23rd September 2009
Filled Under: Games, Old Cakepie.com