Image is a cartoon still from beauty and the beast. The character Belle is shown making a derisive face and she has hipster glasses photoshopped onto her face. The picture meme reads: Be your guest? Unlikely.
I’ve noticed I’m discerning, but we all think we are, right? In my case I have some particulars that may be a little less mainstream. Hipster bloggers unite? Anyway, it’s helpful to know these because when I review, they’re all taken into consideration. And because my situation is not typical (I have a significant disability), you may need to disregard some of my observations that do not apply to you. I believe there are people out there with the same issues as I have, and because few people reviewing cosmetics have these exact concerns my special considerations will be very helpful to other people like me. Maybe that’s you!

I’m a pain in the ass customer for the following reasons:

  • Things need to smell okay to me. I have a fantastic sense of smell, this can suck because I’m not neurotypical and many smells are too stimulating for me. Too much stimulation interferes with my ability to regulate my calmness, and is terribly unpleasant. Anyone with autism-spectrum overstimulation may relate to what I’m saying here.

  • Things that touch my hands or go on my face have to feel okay, or I get overstimulated. I can’t handle touching tacky, oily, gritty, fuzzy, or gummy things that touch these areas. Some of these are okay if the texture doesn’t linger. I wear my hair up 90% of the time because it prevents MY OWN HAIR from touching my face. I hate, hate, hate shit that touches my face unexpectedly. I’m not one of those girls who likes head rubs, and going to the salon (where they on purpose massage your scalp) is murder. That said, bleach with 40 developer is only mildly annoying. Go figure.

  • My hands don’t work. Weak, clumsy little fuckers. I have a hard time opening most nail polish, tiny jars, and anything slippery. I have support (great friends and live-in caregivers) so most of the time I just get one of them to open something. But I still may make a note in a review if I can’t open something independently because I can’t be the only person who struggles with this. You might choose to ignore observations like that if your hands work.

  • My hair is abused. I have bleached the absolute shit out of it. I’d be surprised if it has anything left that can be understood by science to still be hair. Hair product reviews will be different considering that products adhere/react differently on bleached/treated hair.

  • My skin is super pale and a strange color. I’m a mixed-race person; Kanien’gehaga (Mohawk) ethnicity and a smattering of white races. I never see daylight because I’ve been inside my house for most of the last decade due to illness (yay, anti-aging benefits!). That means my undertones of translucent/greenish/yellow rarely match makeup colors. One reason I love Asian makeup is they seem to be more likely to fit my unique coloring.

  • I have acne-prone skin. Not super unique, but notable. I have acne on my face, back, arms, neck, and sometimes my upper chest. I get occasional painful cysts, but mostly small, annoying blemishes. I can’t leave them be, either, so I have scarring on my arms and back that is noticeable. I was very embarrassed by this for most of my life. Now I’m just trying to find ways to destroy it. I’ll share with you what I learn; I know other people have this problem too.

  • EDIT: I’m weak and can’t always move my arms and legs or walk or do things. It’s getting better over time but it sucks now.


That’s it! I’m otherwise only picky in the normal ways: I want products that work well, solve my problems, make me pretty, or have great value.

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6 Responses to “I’m an unusual cosmetics/beauty product customer, here’s why.”

  1. Michelle Says:

    I’m a bit of a weirdo too – I had a facial the other day (it was free, facials are not a usual thing for me – just to clarify) and the beautician told me she’d never seen my type of combination skin before, then told me my chest skin was also weird… hurray?

    Anyway, I think most beauty bloggers are the weirder customers – we start blogging to keep track of what works/doesn’t work, because it’s too confusing otherwise 😉


    Tiffany Martin Reply:

    Yow, that beautician spoke pretty freely, huh? Maybe next time ask her not to hold back! lol

    You’re probably right that most of us are weirdos, it might be what makes us feel compelled to learn and share beauty info. For some of us it might be what made us notice the differences in products as well ^_^ Thanks for stopping by, I love your blog you know!


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Posted by Cake-Pie
Dated: 2nd October 2012
Filled Under: Beauty, Reviews