Image is a graphic for the liebster award. It is a pink circle with scalloped edges, inside is a red heart with beams forming around the heart. The word liebster is on the top inside the circle, award is on the bottom inside the circle. Slender arrows are pointing the words to each other.

 

Hey guys! I wanted to share something today, I’ve been nominated for a Liebster Award by fellow bloggers Arya and Eva (don’t worry, out of fairness I answered BOTH sets of questions). From what I can tell, the Liebster Award was invented to connect and inspire new bloggers so they will keep their spirits up! It can be hard to be a blogger when you start out, a lot of times you put your whole heart into writing a post, nervously hit “publish” and wait… then nothing. Many times you write and you wonder, “Is anyone even reading?” I think sometimes you can actually HEAR the crickets.
 

The rules:
1. List 11 facts about yourself.
2. Answer the 11 questions from the blogger who nominated you.
3. Choose 11 bloggers with fewer than 200 followers to nominate.
4. Ask 11 new questions to your nominees.
5. Go to each blogger’s page and let them know about the award.
6. Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog.
 

Liebster operates kinda like a chain letter, but instead of letters Liebster seems to be more about revealing a little about ourselves and inspiring others by thinking of them ^_^
 
 

FIRST: 11 Facts!

  • I have been sick in bed most of my life since I was 18. I had a great remission year in 2011-2012 where I was just like a normal person, and I did a lot during that time!
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  • I play roguelikes a lot, these are a genre of videogames where you die over and over, but if you can finally win it really means something. They take a lot of cleverness, luck, and skill to win, but they’re fun each time, like you go, “THIS time I’ll win!” then death, lol.
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  • Pink is my addiction. I like looking at it, wearing it, and being around it.
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  • My favorite snackfood is probably chips and salsa, with all the fixings. I can’t eat it for a few years due to medication but I really like the taste.
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  • I’m super flexible, and once trained in contortion.
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  • I still don’t have a smartphone. It’s an extra expense I can’t afford on a fixed income (this explains my obsession with deals, huh?).
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  • I had a real pro manicure once, and the whole time I was thinking, “So much money, I can learn to do this myself!”, lol, obviously not that simple but hey, I’m cheap, lol.
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  • I have a younger brother, but he’s about 14 months younger so all my life people can’t tell who’s older, and some people think we’re twins.
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  • I love fruit-scented things, and hate flower smells. Jasmine is the WORST.
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  • Since I got sick (at 18) I can’t really read most books, but I was voracious as a teen so usually it turns out I’ve read more books than the average person despite my lapse, funny right?
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  • I don’t know how to play any musical instruments.

 

SECOND: 11 Questions for me! (From Eva)
 

1. If you had to pick one flavor of ice-cream to eat for the rest of your life, what would that be?
I think strawberry. I love strawberry things. Though vanilla would be a good back-up choice simply because then you can put syrups and sprinkles on it to cheat the rule a little ^_^
 

2. If you had wings, what type of wings would you have?
I’d have big birdly wings. They’d function so I could fly around without getting tired. I’d want them to be powder pink and white, too (Don’t judge me!).
 

3. What is your favorite animal?
People always seem to have one. I don’t know if I do but since I have to come up with one I’ll say horse, they’re smart and can save you money on gas, haha.
 

4. Where do you like hanging out the most?
Ideally I enjoy being with my family, we play a lot of games together, and we’re a huge clan, so when we get together everyone brings a lot of food! My parents have a house in the north (right by Canada) so in my imagination it’s a snowy wonderland.
 

5. What do you eat for breakfast?
I don’t eat “breakfast” foods for breakfast, I always thought that was so strange. I eat a restrictive diet so I just eat what I’m allowed to have for every meal regardless of what meal it is. Boring, right? >:
 

6. If you could be a cartoon/anime character for one day, which of the famous cartoon/anime characters would you want to be?
I’d like to be Avatar Korra!
 

7. Do you watch Korean Dramas? If yes, what’s your favorite?
I DO! I watch the crap out of em, my fave for now is hard to choose between Lie to Me and Coffee Prince (can you tell I love Yoon Eun-Hye?)
 

8. Your three wishes from the Genie?
More wishes. More genies. An end to sickness and death for people.
 

9. Your ideal job:
Ideally I’d be doing something lucrative, where I can learn a lot, and be doing good to help others. Right now that might be impossible, so I’ll say consulting for a major beauty brand (Shiseido, My Beauty Diary, Skinfood, Etude House, you guys listening?)
 

10. What colour toothbrush do you currently use?
I have no idea. I think it’s orange. It was cheap and not deliberately chosen.
 

11. The first song that you can think of!
Rasputin by Boney M!! This song is really addictive, it’s the cure for earworms ^_^ If you’ve played Just Dance 2 you’ve probably seen this song:
 


 
Try and tell me this isn’t catchy.
 

SECOND.02: 11 Questions for me! (From Arya)
 

1. What’s the last book you read?
During my remission year I read “Daughters of China”, it was written in a way that made me think the author was kinda airheaded but her research seemed pretty good, and it’s a nice book if you’re curious about Chinese adoption or the politics of children in China.
 

2. Your favorite song and band is:
Oh no, I don’t really have one. >: Music is pretty overstimulating to me so I only listen to a little. If I have to pick a favorite maybe David Bowie, and a song would be Don’t Stop Believin’ (Always gets people excited!).
 

3. Where do you want to go for a vacation?
SEOUL!!!!
 

Image is a photo of the cakepie pretending to push over a huge pillar at the parthenon replica in nashville, tennessee. She is wearing sunglasses, a grey shirt, and khaki shorts. The background is a verdant green field.
 
This is my old hair. I paid $150 bucks to get it dyed like this!
 

4. What’s the silliest pose you did in a pic?
I have a pic of myself at the Parthenon replica in Nashville, Tennessee during my remission year, pretending to be pushing over pillars, Sampson-style. (Above)
 

5. What’s your favorite shop?
I live in an obscure place in the USA, and because of my disability I’ve actually been inside only a couple of shops, but I always enjoy going to The Body Shop, ^_^ They have testers for everything, and the one near me is wheelchair accessible, and the sales associates are always so sweet (not typical of shops here at ALL).
 

6. When was the last time you wrote a whole paragraph using a pencil or pen
Last week ^_^ Eva’s getting a handwritten letter from me <3<3   7. Have you ever watched/read an anime/manga? OH yes. I have been a total otaku >_> Many, many, many of each.
 

8. Rainy or Sunny day?
SUNNY!
 

And some classics!
9. What’s that one thing you can’t live without?
HUGS!!
 

10. Love or Money
Love!!
 

11. What inspires you to blog
I want to connect with other people! I used to hate beauty (I thought it was for snobs or dumb women, how terrible!!) so now I have to catch up and I’m learning a lot, so I share what I learn with others! Ideally I’d have a lot of friends and a good community of us all sharing together, inspiring each other in the nerdy side of beauty ^_^
 

THIRD: I nominate:
1. Pam, from Queerpinkfish
2. Via, from ViaVioletXue
3. Dita, from Ditaindalestari
4. Emily, from Dreaming with Fae Creatures
5. Marienni, from Marienni
6. Asu, from Kitsunedon
7. Julie, from PDXBeautiful
8. Shazil, from Magic Chic Makeup Blog
9. Mimikon, from Under the Same Blue Sky
10. Dee, from Promiscuous
11. Bethaney, from Beauty-Junkie (On a Budget)
 

FOURTH: To you beautiful Nominees, I ask you THESE 11 questions:
1. What’s the worst thing about being grown up?
2. Why did you decide to start blogging?
3. What is the most frustrating part of blogging?
4. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?
5. You get a dream vacation for a month, where would you want to go?
6. Makeup, hair, clothes, shoes, nails — Choose only one!
7. What is your best physical attribute?
8. What is the most noble thing about yourself?
9. What have you done in the last year that you are really proud of?
10. What’s your favorite movie that you saw in the last year?
11. Tell us a story about yourself! It can be funny, inspiring, short, long, or strange, but it has to be true!
 

Posted by Cake-Pie
Dated: 29th January 2013
Filled Under: Beauty, Everything else
Comments: 17 Comments

 
 

One of my Facebook friends posted this today:
 

picture is a meme poster. The background is grey, with an amused but smug-looking white woman drawn in black and white. It reads I'm tired of everyone wanting to be politically correct so they don't offend someone. You know what I find offensive? Not being able to freely offend others.
 
A lovely Facebook meme. Did it make you chuckle?

 

I see this kind of thing a lot from this person. My guess is my friend posts misapplied arguments like this to trololololol. He doesn’t want to be taken seriously, but he likes getting people’s panties all atwist. It’s sadism, really (not really). Regardless of whether or not he wants people to learn anything or reflect for real, I did anyway. The poster above illustrates an attitude I see a lot. Usually from those with the most social status and special treatment (those from the middle class, whites, and men), who are blind to the full scope of the complaints they hear due to the difference in their lived experience (ie: they’re not evil). What they’re saying is that they’re upset because they can’t freely say what they want. It’s oppression, really, they would argue.
 

Just like poor Daniel Tosh. (For more on this, google “Daniel Tosh” and “Rape Jokes”)
 

That Facebook meme suggests that people can’t say what they want to, that there’s some kind of censorship imposed on them for “daring” to offend. But no one is censoring here. Even Tosh is free to say what he likes, but it takes tremendous entitlement to think that means listeners must THEN respond to him favorably. That we must enjoy and respect what he says, just because… why, he has opinions? Yeah right. Welcome to the real world, my lovely friends. If your job is comedy and you aren’t amusing us, we don’t buy your tickets or watch your shows. Any response to you is actually speech and it’s just as protected as yours, and we’re just as un-entitled to you liking it.
 

Image is a still frame from Beauty and the Beast converted into a comic. The characters Belle and Gaston look like they're having a heated debate. Gaston's point reads: Why can't I joke about rape? Why are you feminists so overly sensitive?? Belle';s reply reads: Clearly you can, since you did - you're just mad I'm holding you accountable for your words. Jokes do not exist in some magical vacuum outside of society - rape jokes reinforce dangerous myths about rape perpetrators and victims, and if you are joking with a rapist and don't realise it, they interpret it as condoning their behavior. It's an issue worth being 'sensitive' about.
 
Belle reads a lot. Gaston really ought to see what she’s found out.

 
 

This “rape joke” example brings me to another insight. I think we need new words.
 

Offense for example. So many people use this word, so many others (usually members of favored groups) rebel against it.
 

What’s happening is, you say you’re “offended”, and what people hear is: “My wittle FEEEEEELINGs hurt!” But who’s going to care about your feelings being hurt? A huge percentage of people are going to think you ought to toughen up! They’ll think, “My goodness how did you survive this long expecting other people to accommodate your weakness?”
 

With that understanding, the offenders are then feeling justified to write memes about offense and censorship like the one I saw on Facebook. They say back to the offended, “Don’t be such a whiner!” They feel pretty brave “standing up” to this idea because it seems like everyone is just a mindless sheep complying with the request of this bellyaching “offended” person.
 

It’s too bad, because they’re so far off the mark. I blame the word “offense”.
 

The thing is, when a person says “I’m offended” they’re usually saying something closer to: “I am witness to you invalidating humans for an insignificant reason, and that is doing real damage and is utterly embarrassing and horrifying and I don’t think you meant it to be. I thought to tell you.”
 

It’s not that they’re feeling insulted! They’re seeing a breach in respect and decency. Not a small MISSTEP in protocol, or an incorrect use of etiquette. You have done something that they know to be molestation to other people, a form of corruption rotting good people (you) from the core. They see it and you don’t, and there has to be a better way to communicate that, because right now it sounds a whole lot like rigid rule-enforcing!
 

What happens next is everyone involved, not understanding each other, just splits off into teams. They play these roles, they jerk their knees, they get to feel super justified, super pissed, and while they’re playing this game no one is being understood.
 

The thing is, how could people understand each other when these are the exchanges happening over, and over, and over again? No wonder people are seeing each other as enemies! These words are leaving them interpreted as whiners, morons, or assholes.
 

Yeah, so the word “offense” doesn’t make people see anything. In this case it doesn’t even mean anything. It’s being used but not being heard.
 

Until a replacement word is found, when you would ordinarily use the word offense, say what you really mean, in long form. Skip the code word. You have to work a little harder and use a bit of finesse unless all you want to do is repeat the same scene over and over and over. Like Groundhog Day.
 

Image is a still frame from the film Groundhog Day with Bill Murray. Bill is inside a truck, driving with a groundhog on his lap controlling the wheel. He is making a face like he's  got nothing left to lose.
 
Don’t be this guy. Still image from the film Groundhog Day

 
 

You want to say:
 

“I hated your rape joke, it was so offensive!”
 

Instead try:
 

“Not understanding why making jokes about rape is problematic. It goes against the unwritten standards of being a good person and I’m sure you intended this innocently but you make yourself look like you don’t understand the suffering of victims. It might be time to rethink this. I’ve spent a lot of time on this subject, so if you want some resources I can save you some time and send a few your way.”
 

It’s not cheeky or cute or rebellious to be “offensive”, it’s not brave or charming, it doesn’t make you look like a freedom fighter, or rulebreaker, or like you’ve figured anything out. People think that it does because they imagine “offense” as if it means “insult”. Insult is really not what people are saying. Really! Even the whiny ones. Learning about this will save you from frustration, annoyance, and will let you work on being a good person at the next level. What I’m saying here is not some alternative viewpoint, or niche opinion. It’s an attempt at translation. I think anyone involved in debating offense clearly cares, and when you care so much it can be hard to refocus from “defense” to “understanding” but there are clear advantages to doing so. I’d like to know if this was helpful or saves you some frustration. Have you been stuck in this cycle of uselessness and futility (no matter where in this pattern you happen to be stuck)? Is there something you’ve learned that you wish other people knew about?

Posted by Cake-Pie
Dated: 22nd January 2013
Filled Under: Everything else
Comments: 3 Comments

Image is a photo of an open box. Pictured is a card with a white model wearing makeup. The card reads: Hello, Gorgeous. Inside the box is lined with a print of pink and white camouflage and tissue paper is under the card, obscuring the contents of the box.Beauty Army is one of the many sample services available today. I’m pretty picky about those, and I chose Beauty Army because it lets you pick your samples, they ask you about yourself to customize your samples to match you (skin color, for example), and they let you skip months if you’re not into it that month. This is my first month of Beauty Army, and I’m excited to share with you what I picked out. These are not reviews, just first impressions. It may be helpful to read about my circumstances before reading my opinions. Read more…

Posted by Cake-Pie
Dated: 6th October 2012
Filled Under: Beauty, Everything else
Comments: 10 Comments

Yohio
Yohio is hella blonde (just like yours truly) though I don’t know if he’s bleaching his to within and inch of his life like I am, haha. He wears decorative flowers in his hair, princess dresses reminiscent of Celes in the opera house, sings in a low voice, in a foreign language, and rips on the guitar. This combination is most likely to stir the internet into fits of predictable, tired, haterade: “Fag”, “He thinks he’s Japanese”, and whatever else is cool to say on 4chan. Read more…

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Posted by Cake-Pie
Dated: 25th May 2012
Filled Under: Everything else
Comments: 7 Comments